Bad Date Stories vol.1

Regular reflection is good for the soul. Grab a warm beverage and come on this journey with me through my worst dates of 2014…

In honor of Valentine’s day and the glee with which we have all  chosen to continue acknowledging its validity, I thought I’d share my  top 3 WORST dates of 2014 with all of you beautiful people. And  yes, I can see you’re beautiful from all the way over here gorgeous!  Every time you visit the blog, you get hotter and hotter

This  is dedicated to any of you coupled up folks that are thinking of  leaving each other (don’t, it’s slim pickings out here) and any of you single people that are thinking you should maybe put yourselves out there more (don’t, it’s slim pickings over there too).

These are in order of ascending madness.

# 3

I’ll call him Gerald. Gerald asked to meet at 7, ate before he showed up (because he couldn’t wait) and didn’t bother checking his teeth or face afterwards, took me to a Wetherspoon’s and talked at me about nothing for an hour before I made my excuses and left.

# 2

I’ll call this one Terry. Terry had good text banter so I agreed to meet despite a 14 year age gap. He spent most of the evening complaining about the company he’d worked at for the last 20 years and worse yet, he had no intention of leaving or doing anything about it to get happy. Lack of ambition at 43 is a scary, incredibly terrifying prospect.

He then decided he needed the loo and upon his return proceeded to interrogate me to find out if I’d been hit on while he’d been gone. Not once, not twice, but thrice. All 3 times, no winks or smiles or anything. Two pints in and he was swaying and we’d only been there for about an hour. I helped him get on his train (for positive Karma points) and then went off to go meet my friends. Because it was still THAT early.

# 1 – AWARD WINNER

I’ll call this special one Frank. Frank was not English so I Googled his people ahead of time to find out what potential cultural differences may be in store (stop laughing!). This is why I wasn’t phased when I had to pay for my own lunch and I didn’t take it personally when he paid me no compliments. I’m a modern day woman you guys, I create my own self esteem haha.

We went to the Southbank where he spent the first 30 minutes berating me for choosing to work for a corporation despite working for one himself. Then he claimed to be attempting a vegan lifestyle and bought himself 2 vegan wraps from the food market but then stared me down until I offered him the rest of my chorizo and goat’s cheese sandwich. Which he took. Pretty much swallowed it whole.

He bought me a bottle of water because my sandwich (which I paid for) was £1 more than his wraps.

Oh the life we could have had together. Southbank was pretty though.

Don't make me feel weird about these, share your stories. I'll share more too soon!