How To Date At Work

In the first hour of the first day 1 of a new job, I was asked by a well-meaning colleague a question that made the imposter syndrome I was battling at the time bloom like my overdramatic peace lily when it finally get a watering:

What do you want your next role here to be?

I’ve never really had any sort of long term vision or path plan for my career. I’ve mostly just YOLO’d my way through by saying yes to opportunities I found interesting (much like my approach to dating, story for another time). This tactic worked great for me professionally and landed me at this big fancy company I’d been desperate to work for for many years, mostly because of how amazing it looked. That question and the timing of it was the ultimate “company culture” shock - something I hadn’t really asked or thought about until that moment.

It made me realise that looks are nothing without compatibility.  

This week, lovers will frantically try to paper the cracks with delicious consumerism and fervent promises that if we’re honest really only tackle the symptoms but do not address the cause (IFYKYK). Whether you’re smashing single life or in a rad relationship at the moment, compatibility may be on your mind in some way shape or form this week as it will be on mine.

Compatibility for me affects how well I’m able to connect to other people’s visions, ideas, thoughts, mission, purpose. We never really stop “dating”. We want to (and often need to) connect with others be it when looking for a flatmate, applying for a credit card, making a new friend as an adult, trying to get your favourite coffee shop to greet you by name when you walk in, applying for a job, or ACTUALLY dating. So much of adulting requires connecting with others and work is a prime example of this considering how much of our lives we spend there.

Here is a list of questions I’e gathered along the way, you too might find them helpful for evaluating the compatibility of your current professional choices:

• What do you care most about in the world after your loved ones?

• Who are you at work vs who you are at play? What side of your personality gets brought out in each situation?

• What skills are you using the most to do your job well and how do they differ from the skills you need outside of work to practically run your personal life?

• Where do you get your energy from?

• Do you thrive in stillness or are you always on the go?

• How would your colleagues describe you and how would that differ from how your friends would describe you?

• What is success and what does it look like for you?

Knowing if something is right for you requires (at the very least) a base level understanding of who you are. These questions are intended to help you think about how and where you’re currently getting/giving your energy in as non-judgemental a way.

Gentle self reflection without judgement is a lifelong journey but if you can’t wait a whole life time, get in touch, I can definitely help speed it up for you!