How To Turn 30 Especially When You Don't Want To

I turned 30 one day and wrote about it when I got home from work that day. Yes, I worked on my 30th birthday but it was a week day and I didn't want to be alone. I have since thought about updating this post from the perspective of todaytimes' Lumes but then remembered that we're all about growth here on the blog. You can't grow if you don't know where you came from. So, in its full vintage glory, enjoy the reflections of young Lumes. I hope it helps you or someone you love turn thirty too.

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In all honesty, I don’t know how this happened. It feels like only yesterday I was 17 and navigating my new life all alone in this wonderful foreign land. Today, I’m 30 and contemplating how the hell that came by so fast.

It’s not like I’ve sat around dreading this day. Far from it. I didn’t really twig that this milestone bday was coming up until New Year’s day this year. Since then, I’ve been feeling restless for no palpable reason. I quite literally have nothing to complain about. I’m as lucky as they come and extremely grateful for my lot in life.  

I have a happy life, I LOVE my job, I have a spectacularly supportive and wonderful family, my friends are just the best, and I can’t remember the last time I was genuinely bored. See? No complaints.

So why so restless?

There is a palpable sense of FOMO that’s washed over me and apparently I’m not alone. I just can’t shake the feeling that I haven’t done enough with my life, despite having achieved just about every goal I’ve set for  myself since I was 16.

I moved to a foreign country alone knowing no one before I was old enough to legally drink, I got my degree, I landed jobs at 2 of the companies I’d only ever dreamed of working for, I’ve traveled extensively, I’ve loved (and been loved) excessively, I’ve assembled several badass groups of friends, and I’ve partied like it’s going out of style. Even with the mistakes I’ve made along the way, my twenties were pretty epic.

So where is this pressure coming from?

I truly don’t know. And I'm not alone apparently.

Could be from comparing ourselves to others, could be from genuine regret at missed opportunities, or it could just be that pesky ambition within us “millennials” that wants EVERYTHING and more.

I certainly don’t feel any older than I have in the last decade or so but things are definitely changing somewhat. My body’s limitations are becoming more apparent – i.e. hangovers now last about 3 days longer despite often struggling to stay out past last tube, my back is more susceptible to pain, and the wrinkles are far more resistant to moisturiser than they ever were before. Mentally, I’ve noticed my patience and tolerance for the asinine fading fast. I’ve accepted all of these as a part of this life. In fact, self acceptance in general does seem to come a lot easier these days, I’ve definitely noticed that.

The majority of my friends are also turning 30 this year and we are all experiencing it on some level so it’s a huge relief to know it’s normal to feel this way. If you feel this way too, know that those who came before you felt that way and those who will come after you will feel that way too.

So now I’m 30. I’m luckier than many with what I have and what I don’t have, well, it’s only a matter of time. I feel hopeful, I feel grateful, and I’m genuinely excited about what’s next.

I saw a great quote from Steve Jobs that pretty much sums up the mindset of the newly 30 me:

“Stay hungry, stay foolish – and try to always put your keys in the same place.”

You know, on account of us being old now.

Sigh.